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Lady Liberty will use the start of this year's New York Auto Show to announce the end of her 100 year love affair with the automobile and declare her undying devotion to biking, walking and mass transit.

The honorable Reverend Billy and the Stop Shopping Gospel Choir will attend, officiate and usher in the celebration.

All things must come to an end, and so apparently it now is for America's love affair with the automobile. Swept off her feet more than 100 years ago with promises of freedom, comfort and status, Ms. America has now had a change of heart. "The oil addiction, the misguided foreign affairs, the skyrocketing bills... I'm ready for a big change," said Lady Liberty in a recent statement.

Lady Liberty will formally announce her break up -- and her big plans for the future -- at the NY International Auto Show. Reverend Billy will be present to both annul her current "dysfunctional" marriage and to wed Ms. Liberty to not one but three suitors who have been growing in her affection of late: Walking, Bicycling and Mass Transit.  

Sermon of the Day: "Lady Liberty said, Give us your tired, your poor - I will make love to you in the backseat of a '64 chevy.' And it came to pass that the smell of sex on the vinyl upholstery was a sacred thing in American life. But verily verily, the toxic emissions became such an ABOMINATION OF THE DEVIL - we must open the car door now and start walking, start biking - to SAVE OUR SOULS!"

Lady Liberty noted that she has rejected the automobile's eleventh-hour pleas that it intends to moderate its wasteful ways. "'Green car' is an oxymoron," she declared, "and I've had it with morons."