Just yesterday I saw a mom exiting the grocery store ,yacking on the cell phone, run her double wide chariot/stroller into a blind man knocking him to the side. (Incidentally even though he was blind he was using the correct entrance – she, however was existing through the entrance). But the “always on the go” lady was too self-absorbed to notice his condition and glared at him as if he had done something wrong. As people ran to his aid others followed her into the parking lot (she was still talking on the phone) attempting to point out the details situation. Of course she was too above it all to even acknowledge her mistake let along offer an apology. She made a hasty retreat and her twins were left there wondering what was going on. Good example there Mom, don’t accept responsibility for your actions.

Can we also agree that some Jewish people and black people and gay people and Tunisian people and some Inuit and some people who wear Dockers and some people who push wheelbarrows and some people who drive Winebagos and some people who ride bikes and some people who live in Idaho are ruder than they need to be?

Can we also agree that, as Aaron N. said up above in comment #4, “the whole personal behavior discussion is tiresome” and doesn’t really get us anywhere productive?

Oh man, that made my day. Makes me want to have quads just so I can get my quadruple-wide Bugaboo and go storming down Fifth Avenue (Park Slope’s Fifth Avenue, mind you).

God how cheesy 90s self-help can we get here? Feelings of guilt, therapists; next we’ll be booking spas up at Mohonk. If only the certain entitled stroller pushers would be as considerate as the immigrant nannies who share the same sidewalks without incident, you wouldn’t even have to recommend psychotherapy for the malcontents they knock out of the way. Can’t we just agree that some stroller pushers are ruder than they need to be, a procreative license to be rude doesn’t make any sense, and move on before we really offend erik’s sense of how many internet inches the topic deserves?

I understand what a luxury item is. But, from an urbanist Streetsbloggish perspective, what do I care if a some woman’s stroller or bike or shoes are expensive and luxurious? I’m basically just happy they’re not driving an SUV.

That luxury issue seems like more of a topic for CapitalismBlog.

As for the notion that people who use strollers, fancy or otherwise, are exhibiting “isolated, me-first, anti-social” behavior for which they should feel guilty — that sounds like an issue for the someone’s therapist. And by “someone,” I mean the person who perceives strollers in this way.

And, no, I don’t have children. I just think it’s difficult enough to have a kid in the city, let alone more than one or twins… let the poor people use their stroller and deal with it.

Doc,
I love your guilt/consumer culture thesis but a baby stroller is no more a “luxury item” than a pair of shoes, a bike or a grocery cart.

Not only is Alex 6′ 7″, I actually met him and his wife at the local baby store a few years ago where, I believe, they were signing up for some sort of class to learn how to use the above-mentioned slings. Our kids were born at just about the same time and our wives became friends.

At the time I was a regular reader of Alex’s “Spotlight on the Region” newsletter at RPA.org but it wasn’t until just this year that I finally put together that the very tall, sleepy looking guy in the baby store was Alex Marshall.

A widely waged rebellion against “guilt” is one way to look at modern culture. In consumer culture we’re told to buy luxury items we can’t afford without guilt, to treat ourselves. I find it loathsome, the idea that we all deserve everything, but I realize that makes me an anachronism.

“But they should do so considerately.”

Thank you for saying this.

“Which isn’t always easy when one hasn’t gotten enough sleep, when one’s child is cranky, etc.”

That’s the closer of the no guilt sales pitch. We all deserve everything because some days are so hard, as depicted in ten thousand television commercials. Even non-parents can lack for sleep. I give particularly mean glares to drivers in the crosswalk when I’m walking to work on little sleep. But if I’m carrying a large package, I don’t use it to plow through a crowded sidewalk. If I did that I would feel bad (guilty), and well I should! There are boundaries of acceptable behavior that “no guilt” culture has allowed many to cast off. It is not good.

Yes we all need to unite to reclaim street space. But we should at least aspire to doing it without bringing the isolated, me-first, anti-social attitudes of driving onto our generally cooperative sidewalks.

Eh? If you say anyone can justify anything “if they care to” what’s left of this entire disussion?

I’m sorry, Alex, your excuse is the one used by everyone else—it’s for your comfort, which counts above that of everyone else.

I don’t even understand the point–is an SUV stroller specifically designed for tall people? Not in my experience, I’ve seen 5′ 4″ moms using them.

I do indeed have back problems Aaron. Bad ones. I’m tempted to go through my Palm Pilot and list the 15 or so doctors I’ve seen since my back problems began five years ago. And perhaps post my inconclusive MRIs. But what good would that do?

I agree with one poster: it is irritating when someone brings up a medical condition to justify behavior that otherwise would not fly. So let’s be clear: I’m not saying you have to have a back problem to use an SUV stroller. I’m just telling my story. I would say anyone has a right to use an SUV stroller should they care to.

But, as with all of life, care and attention should be given to others. I would say that there should be some personal and societal pressure, at least in this city, to keep the stroller one uses as small as possible. But the bottom line is that some parents need bigger strollers, and even if they are not six foot seven and don’t have back problems, they should be able to use them without feeling guilty. But they should do so considerately.

Which isn’t always easy when one hasn’t gotten enough sleep, when one’s child is cranky, etc. But that doesn’t exempt us from having to try. THe topic of the piece, to repeat myself, was essentially about my own surprise in learning how situational are one’s priorities and what one considers obviously good personal behavior. What we consider obvious and just depend on where we stand, and what we are holding in our hands. Realizing this can help us be more considerate to those around us by realizing that we probably don’t have a 360-degree perspective on life all the time.

For a few minutes, nothing is more important than strollers. Every ounce of mental and emotional energy focused like a laser on the intermittent stroller problem as if it is unimaginable that anything is of more consequence.

Then, you move on to other things … until you run into some doofus pushing a healthy five-year-old in a stroller bigger than a shopping cart, chatting on the phone. Then it all comes rushing back.